Ewoks battle for Patton

This sums it all up.

Being a child of the 80's means that you had the greatest Saturday mornings on earth and had some of the greatest toy lines known to man (cough..He Man..cough). As well as snack foods and the brightest clothing know to man, even the aliens mistook Earth for another sun due to all the neon.

In addition, the internet was not around yet so you spent A LOT of time on your bike outside. During the fall months, you had minimal chores and the rest of you days were free, but when your dad works for Texaco you are going to take a road trip every year but when was the main question. What does this have to do with Ewoks? Just bear with me a minute.

Kentucky is a great state to go to. I appreciate it more now than I did as a child as trees and mountains are a wonder to behold. How God made all of this from nothing I will never know, but we would frequent this state quite a bit during my childhood. This one year was rather exciting and disappointing at the same time. You see, in 1984 there was a grand movie that was coming on TV and that movie was The Ewok Movie or Caravan of Courage. My 8 year old brain saw the commercials but did not know about calendar days fully otherwise this would not have been a big deal.

This year our family road trip in the 69 C/10 olive green chevy pickup would happen the week of Thanksgiving 1984. In my excitement of our trip, I knew that toy and comic book hunting were only 20 hours away, Somehow forgot that the Ewok movie was going to be on for Thanksgiving.

After stopping in Knoxville at the Patton museum and thinking, man if I only had a tank I could just go around driving it yelling, YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JOOOOOOOOOOOEEEE, there was a stop at flea markets and balogna sandwiches with Pepsi. I can't actually remember what I bought, I'm 100 percent sure it was Masters of the Universe or Transformers related, but then came the close to the day at the campground. This campground was awesome, I can't remember the name but I called it the Raiders of the Lost Ark place because this camp was responsible for me see Raiders for the first time!

Bedtime approached and my Dad said, "Well, By golly Happy Thanksgiving!" It was at this time that I remembered that The Ewok movie was to premiere in a few short minutes. Panic set in and then my dad pulled out the 4 inch screen tv! I was hoping we weren't going to watch something boring then he tuned into the Ewok movie! At that moment, no one could top my dad as #1 in the entire world.

We settled in the watch and the excitement was so high from me. Then the fanfare and the opening then wait........this is not Luke or Han or even a Gonk droid. This was ..... Mace...and...Cindell...StaCoosa. What was this? This can't be happening, this can't be Star Wars. Alas, it was and I could not have been more disappointed. I think halfway through I gave up and my dad could see how upset I was. I told them they could watch anything they wanted and it was ok and I appreciated him setting it up for me.

After playing with my new used toys, I couldn't help but ponder, why did they do this to Star Wars? I was confused and gave up on Star Wars for a while. I revisited Star Wars many times over the next year and years to come. I even tried to watch Episode 4 everyday for a year but only made it to about 100 days. So I have seen A New Hope over 200 times in the span of 30 years. Thanks 20/20 for showcasing that group that saw Star Wars 376 times.

All in all, I revisited both Ewok movies as I got older and I still don't like them. I have the DVDs but they just sit there as a talking point now, especially since part 2 stars Mr. King of Quaker Oats himself, Wilfred Brimley, as an action star or non-action star depending on how you look at it.

My children will not sit through these and I am not going to make them either. I'm completely ok being a casual fan of the series not being as hardcore now that I am older and grayer. If you haven't seen either Ewok movie, I recommend just finding a shortened clip highlight reel, that's all you need anyway. Its still really cool that I was alive for the premier of this movie but such a let down.

Masters of the Universe from 1987 was a better Star Wars film than Ewoks but I'll save that topic for another time.

Till Next Time, God Bless.


Look at this poster, what could go wrong?

© 2020 Wayback Chronicles Team

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